Thursday, April 15, 2010

This Is It

I don’t know why this is so hard. I’ve been typing and back spacing for half an hour now. But still nothing sounds right.

Do you know what tomorrow is? It’s the anniversary of my first post. The birthday of ‘She’s in the House’. It took some serious stick-to-it-iveness but I’ve managed to hit this dubious milestone with a gold star for Perfect Attendance.

What started out as short journal entries each day turned into longer and longer visits with you. In the beginning I didn’t know if I’d ever be writing with a contemporary audience in mind; it seemed likely that these would only be read later by my kids. Somehow along the way I’ve been able to collect a little cheering section and you don’t know how much this has meant to me. No sir, you do not.

I’m grateful for the year I’ve had to really think. To mull things over. To get to know myself. And friends, as you know, this wasn’t always pretty. Before this blog, I went through a dark period marked with ignorance, selfishness, and poor judgment but this place, and the knowledge that you were all there interested and ready to ‘listen’ was the succor and support I needed to make a fresh start. You are AWESOME and don’t you dare ever forget it. President Spencer W. Kimball once said, “The Lord answers our prayers, but it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.” Thanks each of you for being an instrument in His hands.

Good grief this is difficult. I’m not good at this at all. Let’s see. It’s not you; it’s me. We need to talk. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Let’s just be friends. No. None of this is working.

You see, the thing is I’ve known for a couple of weeks that this would be my last post. If you would’ve told me before that point that I was going to pull the plug on it, I would’ve laughed. Or punched you. Something along those lines. Lest you think Something Happened, let me assure you that it was simply a quiet confirmation in my heart that it was time to move along. *sighs* This is harder than it should be; more necessary than you know.

This is it. *cue the Kenny Loggins music*

Thanks to each of you for sticking with me and keeping me sane this year. I love you tons.

7 comments:

  1. What? NOOOOOOOooooooooooo......... Reading your blog is the only thing that makes me realize that my kids are "normal" and that I'm not the only one who is out of my mind. I'll miss your posts.

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  2. First, good job my friend for sticking to it and meeting your goal. I am a little sad to know that every evening I will not be getting an email letting me know that my friend has something on her mind and she doesn't mind if I "listen in". I have admired your courage in really digging into some sensitive issues and dealing with them so well. I will miss our little chats, even if they were mostly one sided. I guess this means that we will have to start going to lunch ever once in awhile so we can keep caught up with each other. You are amazing!

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  3. Will miss our daily chats! Thanks for all the laughs, tears and cause for thinking along the way. It was a great year! Cynthia

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  4. Congratulations! On writing for a year without missing a day. And for being brave enough to listen to your heart and stop blogging because it feels right. I'll miss the little glimpses into your life but am glad you're making the decision that is right for you.

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  5. Your a champ! You have to do what works and feels best for YOU. So if this is the decision you have made, I stand with you. Doing this for a year, is hard....let alone even knowing that people are reading the private thoughts in your head daily, but Im here to say from one friend to another, you are simply amazing. No matter what you do, you do it well. So onto the next venture.

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  6. Hi you don't know me (I found you from Tammi's blog) but I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I've even quoted some of your spiritual thoughts during FHE lessons. I hope this last post just means last post for every day and not forever!!

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So, what do you think?