Friday, April 23, 2010

I'm Okay, You're Defriended

Miss me? If not, please go to the “She’s in the House” fan page and de-fan yourself because I only want to talk to my besties. You know who you are. And who you aren’t.

Today I was able to spend some time with Michael in the morning at such lovely establishments as the Bark and Garden Center in Olympia (thanks for the suggestion Kellie!) and Trader Joe’s. Never enough of this sort of time. In the afternoon I helped ready the church for Corrina’s wedding and loved hanging out with old friends for an awhile. In the late afternoon Michael took me to Red Nails for a manicure/pedicure and what started out as a little pampering turned into a torture session. It started out with a simple question: “Can I fix your eyebrows”? Well sure. It’d been a bit since Sinar plucked the daylights out of them (to keep me from looking like a logger!) and they could use some grooming.

Before this woman came down on me with waxy terror, she said she wanted to wax my upper lip. “It’s been awhile?” Um yeah. I’ve never had my upper lip waxed. Didn’t even realize I had a mustache. Searing pain, searing pain, and I’m hair-free. Next some crazy awful eyebrow waxing/plucking and I felt like my entire face was on fire. I’m crossing my fingers that the redness and swelling goes down by tomorrow but I suppose it’s no big deal. I sort of enjoy giving my friends a reason to laugh.

Tonight Dad asked me to listen to a song and help him figure out what album it was on so he could pick it up. It was a cover of The Who’s “Love, Reign o'er Me” by Pearl Jam. I liked it a lot. We’ll have to help him download it because it wasn’t on the soundtrack for the movie it came from (“Reign on Me”). Next we watched “Survivor” because I missed it last night. I’ve been enjoying this season but man, that Parvati makes me itch.

By this point you may be wondering what’s up. What’s she talking about? Oh I don’t know. But anyway, as you know, I ended the daily postings. Since then though, Michael helped me realize that there’s nothing wrong with taking some time here and there to share some thoughts. So I will.

As some of you know, I was defriended by a high school friend on Facebook yesterday. She wrote a very long (VERY long) message about it (of which I read the first few sentences) and then blogged about ‘breaking up’ with me. Her reason was that at some point I pushed the ‘Like’ button when I saw this on Facebook: “DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN”

I was a little surprised. When I first saw this, I chuckled; I didn’t take it as a serious prayer or sentiment. That she did? Well, I’ll just say I’m in no way surprised. I’ve given it some thought since yesterday (though nothing like the agonizing she apparently went through) and my thoughts are as follows:

1) I’m sad that I may have represented my faith poorly and this “letter” was in poor taste.
2) It still makes me chuckle a little.
3) I can’t take life this seriously.
4) It reminds me of a Simpson’s episode where Bart prays for God to kill Sideshow Bob. His mom says, “Bart, no! You can’t ask God to kill someone!” and Homer says, “Yeah! You do your own dirty work!”

What I’ll also add is that I’m perfectly okay with this. Wouldn’t have it any other way. If anything about me is irritating, unnerving, or upsetting to any one of my 393 friends, family, and acquaintances on Facebook, they ought to defriend me. What reason would they have to keep me around? To be nosy or have something to complain about? No. Just defriend me now. Trust me; I’m cool with it.

So anyway, if I don’t actually want Mr. Obama to die, what do I believe?

Although I wouldn’t characterize myself as a Republican, I am, most definitely, a Conservative. Maybe Libertarian fits the bill more closely. I don’t know. What I do know is that when I listen to Herman Cain talk about government and politics and Thomas Sowell discuss economics, I hear that ring of truth. I don’t mention these two men because they’re black. I only mention them because I’ve loved them since the first time I heard them speak and read their words. They are the reason I moved from being a mushy-headed twenty-something full of empty feel-goodisms to someone who has enough love for her fellow man (and woman) to expect more from them.

Additionally, I should add that although folks like to describe conservative thinkers as without heart or feelings, nothing could be further from my personal truth. In our family we believe in giving a tenth and helping anyone who needs a hand. We believe in support of those unable to care for themselves. We believe that help should come in forms that are basic and straightforward. That help should come after a person has demonstrated, for example that they aren’t using the resources they do have for luxuries or lifestyle enhancement. The problem conservative thinkers have with help coming from the federal government is that it’s no longer personal. Recipients don’t have a face to put to the aid. Maybe Uncle Sam, I suppose, but not their tax paying neighbor. Sure, there’s potentially a minority of people who have only used aid for the short term when completely necessary and you know what? I probably know a few of these people. They are grateful, especially in this economy, that the help is there when they need it. No doubt about it. But we’re fooling ourselves if we pretend that most recipients of this sort of aid do anything more than become dependent on it. See it as a right. A right to what truly belongs to someone else. Because the funds only come after someone else gives up their time to work.

But where was I? Oh yeah, I expect a lot from people. Although I’ve heard folks use racism as a reason for disliking Mr. Obama, for me it’s less about him and more about the ideas. But it is a little about him. The fact that he listened to an America-hating preacher for years and associated with a person who bombed the Pentagon during the Vietnam War is very disconcerting. But back to ideas. I think government policies should be based on what’s constitutional and what works, not on whether something makes us feel Nice or Mean. I don’t believe it’s the federal government’s job to make or even help us be successful. I believe the market and private industry are able to do well what the federal government can only complicate and confuse. I believe our country isn’t in a mind-blowing amount of debt because we aren’t taxed heavily enough but because politicians are spending too much. Way, way too much. If we have to figure out a way to live within our means, we should expect the government to do the same. I believe too much help is just another word for hurt.

So anyway, me and Mr. Obama, we may not be on the same page but I have no interest in his death. And not just because the thought of President Biden gives me serious pause. Defriend me if you will; it’s all good.


  1. I have been defriended before. It used to bug me but not anymore. People take Facebook seriously. I'm glad you blogged about it. I missed my daily readings while you were "in the house".

  2. I am so very, very glad you are continuing to blog. I have missed you and your insights. Where is the "agree" button here?

  3. Sad that it took me almost a week to read your post! I loved it! I think we're soulmates:) haha. So glad youre bloggin again!


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