Saturday, March 27, 2010

It's Not That I'm Falling Asleep

Michael Jr. got up early to go the temple with the Young Men and Young Women. Michael ironed the rest of the church clothes but Michael Jr. has since left his in a pile on his bedroom floor. I think it’s about time the boy learned to iron. Not from me or anything because a) I’m not the best ironer in the house and b) I would lose my mind.

This morning was an Easter program for the kids at church and it ended with an egg hunt. I figured at least some of the kids would be happy to go but only Josh seemed real interested. When I told Sam it was time to go to church he ran into the backyard and straight up the play equipment, howling, “Church is TOO LONG!” I had to explain that it was for fun. For a little bit. No white shirt, slacks, belts, or ties. Candy would be involved. Fine. *sighs* That boy needs his moral fiber cleaned and pressed.

After church we drove to the car wash next to 7-11 and finally cleaned out the van. I don’t mean a quick vacuuming, but a knock down, drag out, hour long scouring. Because it was the last place anyone remembers seeing Sierra’s phone. That we’ll have to continue paying service fees for another year and a half whether we find it or not. The four kids stood back as Mom and I took everything out of the car. Sorted through all the stuff that gets shoved in the pockets behind the seats. Under seats. Everywhere. We even wiped down every smooth surface with individually wrapped Wet-Ones we found in a door pocket because my mom doesn’t do anything by halves. We vacuumed every square inch but no phone. And no idea where to look next. The phone company has no record of its use after we returned from Yelm last but that doesn’t really mean anything.

While the kids were standing around being useless, Kenny decided to treat them all to Slurpees. It made my blood boil to see them watch the work but I also knew there wasn’t room for any more of us in the car cleaning and there wasn’t time for their style of work. I at least wanted to see Sierra losing a little composure over the whole thing but she was happy as a clam. If this phone ever does turn up, I’m pretty sure it won’t be handed over to her anytime soon. Or ever.

We had a wiener roast for lunch because that’s sort of tradition whenever my parents come over. There was also home cooked corned beef on rye, tuna salad from a tuna my parents canned, and Dad’s vegetable soup and chili. So here’s the deal. When you know they’re coming, you just happen to stop by at lunch time. You’ll be cajoled into staying and eating and it will seem like it was all their idea. There’s always more than plenty to go around. You think I’m kidding, don’t you?

During lunch Sierra told us what she wants to be when she grows up. The best job in Science. Drumroll please . . . Multi-Species Baby Tickler. Apparently they compare the laughs of baby humans with other baby primates. I’m sure there’s a huge demand for that sort of thing. Absolutely. I’m also sure she’s been reading way too much Popular Science.

So anyway, I was tired of seeing my kids playing Game Boys today so after lunch I herded them outside to plant several sedums and to lay down some rubber mulch. Oh my the wailing and gnashing of teeth! For heaven’s sake! All I was asking them to do was dig some holes and sprinkle some stuff! Eventually they settled down after learning that I could be talked into letting them go to Target when we were done to spend some Christmas gift cards. They did a decent job until they noticed the sprinklers across the street at Central United Protestant. In a flash they were looking both ways and crossing Williams to get soaked. Was it that hot today? Insane. They came back after the water was only coming on in the goathead-infested areas next to The ARC and we finished up the job. I don’t know about the wallflowers I'd already planted from last year, but these sedums are going to hold up spectacularly to the searing Tri-Cities sun and our occasional summer disappearances.

We went to Target, Home Depot, and Wal-Mart and came home with some flowers, ice cream, Girl Scout Cookies, etc. The important things. I didn’t expect to get any more done in the yard before we had to call it a day but with the help of Michael and my parents, I was able to plant something for someone’s birthday (shhhh!!!), several pots for the front deck, and a whole rock garden on the side of the house that I didn’t even know I was going to make. It’s the Kimball Avenue side so if you have a good sized rock you want to get rid of, feel free to add it to my design. Ha! That would be so cool if people actually did that.

We had French Dip for dinner, among other things, but what I remember most clearly is Dad and Sierra talking about “Deal Breakers”. Either while they were fixing the swing set or during their trip to Ace Hardware, Dad started talking to Sierra about what sorts of things were unacceptable from men. One Strike You’re Out sort of behaviors. First on the list was “He cleans his ears out with his keys”. You know, I’d have to agree. Michael Jr. was also adding to the conversation the same way he had all day. By telling us about different phobias. He’s very interested in these for some reason. Grandpa told him he has a fear of squirrels setting up housekeeping in his shorts, but I’m guessing that’s not a fear Michael’s come across yet!

Oh yes! I wanted to mention this stuff Michael bought for me today. He gave it to me after dinner and it's called LypSyl. I'd asked for some Blistex today thinking it might soothe my cold sore a little (I swear by Abreva in the very, very early stages but this time it didn't do a darned thing or I just didn't catch it as soon as I thought I did). He bought me the Blistex but also this other stuff because it said it was Extreme Cold Sore Relief and it was on sale at Rite-Aid for $0.99 instead of the usual $6.99. This stuff was great! It completely relieved the pain and although my lip still looks like raw meat, at least it now mostly only bothers OTHER people.

We watched “Better Off Dead” tonight and as usual, Dad was fast asleep after the first half hour. As I sat here writing in the living room I heard my dad tell my mom, “It’s not that I was falling asleep. I was just no longer awake”. He lay there for awhile asking her questions about what happened in the movie even though he’s seen it several times. It’s sort of hilarious listening to my parents discuss the plot in earnest before they fell asleep. And now it’s time for me to say goodnight. It’s not that I’m falling asleep. I’m just no longer awake.

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