Monday, February 22, 2010

She Probably Won't Try This Again

This afternoon it occurred to me that I had a few things to pick up at Winco before dinner. With hubris unfeigned, I told Josh, Sam, and a friend of Sam’s to get in the car.

Sam: “Are we going to Donut Land Jr.?”

Me: “What is Donut Land Jr.?”

Sam: “Winco.”

Me: “Yes, yes we are.”

I mentioned hubris. It’s been a really long time since I brought children to the grocery store. Child, yes. Child I can strap into a seat, to be exact. But once I had the option of going alone, I never looked back. Back in the day when I had to bring 3 or 4 kids grocery shopping, I had things under control. For the sake of my sanity, I had to. I guess I just assumed I still had it, you know? That my kids would just fall back into line.

After parking we immediately came upon a friendly face: Tia! We ran into her periodically throughout the store as I tried my best to corral the little buggers. The running! And chasing around the cart! Random items flung into the cart! Okay, not so random; they all involved chocolate and/or high levels of preservatives. We were the sort of people that cause people like my friend Deena to bring their iPods to the grocery store and crank up the tunes.

At one point I thought we were done but as Kenny would say, “after much discoveration,” I remembered we had a cake to bake for the Blue & Gold Banquet Wednesday night. Kellie posted a lemon cake recipe a few days ago so I took out my phone to find it. For reasons I still haven’t unearthed, Facebook had me logged off again and wouldn’t come back on line. While I was sorting this out and calling Sierra to ask her to look it up on my computer, the boys were doing their own thing. I turned to find Josh with a stack of red and white funnels blowing on the top one like a horn. How many children’s mouths or grown folks’ hands have been on that thing? *shivers* After a stern warning he stacked them back up and Sam and his friend congratulated him on creating a nice A-B-B-A pattern. I’m sure Ms. Thompson would be proud.

Being the eternal sucker, I bought them each a donut anyway and headed to the checkout. We found a cashier just waiting for us and I think I can safely say that’s never happened to me at Winco. After ringing us up I looked at the boys to see them staring at the floor. Somehow almost half of the chocolate frosting from Sam’s donut was on the floor in feces-like heaps. They looked confused and I was embarrassed (more embarrassed) so I grabbed a plastic grocery sack and started making the mess even worse. The cashier was nice enough to give me a roll of paper towels when he saw my lame efforts and it makes me wonder why I never have baby wipes when I really need them.

So anyway, lesson learned. I either start bringing them to the store and lay down the law or go back to the more enjoyable shopping trips I’m used to. I think you know my answer.

On a completely different subject, the new TV arrived to replace the old humming one. No more jumping up and down to make it sound right. Also, it’s magnificent, at least by our previous 27” standards. Unfortunately, it’s after 9:00 p.m., Michael is tired, and all four of the bolts for the wall mount apparatus have sheered. How does that even happen? The living room is full of things the children shouldn’t be messing with so we’ve got to find a way to deal with this tonight. Right now all I can do is stay out of the way.

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So, what do you think?