Sunday, December 6, 2009

Say Cheese!

Today was a comedy of errors. Over and over and over.

This morning I was a woman with a mission: Christmas card photo.

I knew it was the perfect opportunity because everyone would be dressed at the same time and not just dressed but wearing fairly decent clothes. After everyone was ready I lined them up on the ottoman in front of the tree and started.

And so did they.

First Sam didn’t want to be in the picture. Next Kenny refused to smile. Sierra had a struggle getting Josh to behave and finally Michael Jr. decided he wasn’t able to smile anymore. I have no idea how many photos I took—maybe 50?—but none of them were really good. Just like last year, I may be stuck sending out a photo that makes everyone feel that much better about their own struggle with kids. I wish I was smart enough to come up with an idea that would make group photos a snap. I’d make a mint.

So, moving right along and right on the path of being late for church, we older folks showered up and ran out the door. And like the foolhardy gal that I am, we sat in one of the last rows of cushioned pews. Again.

There just isn’t enough room for seven butts in these side pews, at least not OUR seven butts. Aside from that, I sat at the end and three kids decided they needed to sit next to me. The math just doesn’t work out but none of them felt inclined to give up their claim. Next Sierra got a bloody nose, Josh began pestering the little girl in front of us, and in a fit of unbridled affection, he threw his arms around my neck and flung himself at him. To avoid a head butt, I quickly whipped my head back. Right into the wooden back corner of the pew. Soon after, Josh noticed the Ottley’s sitting behind us. He began sticking his tongue out at, oh, I’m guessing Tami, but maybe Chadd too? This went on for awhile and I had to work awfully hard to keep from laughing. Michael Jr. had the job of wandering up and down the aisles with the microphone so people could bear their testimonies (travelogues and thanksimonies) from the comfort of their seat. Most people wanted to walk up to the pulpit so after awhile he just sat down with us. And that microphone. I was in a panic the rest of the service because who know what Josh will say? WHO? When Michael told the kids to “Say Cheese!” this morning he yelled “Boobs!”—this I do not need in church. Not that anyone who knows us would be shocked or anything but OBVIOUSLY.

The craziness continued at home. Sam’s been bugging me for days to make some gingerbread men. After church I decided to get right on it. I pulled out all the things I don’t use a whole lot like ground ginger and cloves but when I reached for the molasses, uh oh, not a whole lot there. I really, really thought I had at least half a bottle each of full flavored and mild but no such luck. I couldn’t really claim that my ox was in a mire—I wasn’t going to the store so I could make gingerbread men. I sent Sierra and Kenny over to Schmidt’s and they came back with a bottle containing maybe an 1/8th of a cup. Darn it. When Michael Sr. came home from his meetings I asked him to ask the Garrity’s across the street. Maybe they’d have some. Same story but with just a little bit more. Not enough, but they did send him back with some homemade salsa and chips. Definitely worth the trip. He went out again and tried the Malley’s next door. Finally, plenty of molasses. So. Is it wrong to give your neighbors molasses for Christmas;)?
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1 comment:

  1. Should've called me! I always keep molasses on hand for those good intentioned cooking projects that I never have the energy for.


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