Monday, October 5, 2009

This Isn't a Rap Video

This is pretty much how it goes, generally speaking:

Michael walks in the door. I’m busy doing something. He wants some action. I give him a quick kiss and hug. He gropes me. I give in a little or give him the Heisman but either way we hear:

“Dad! This isn’t a rap video!”*

It’s been 13 years since the first kid made the scene but I remember clearly how different it used to be. No concern about who saw this. No anxiety about who heard that. No deep seated desire to drag that squeaky, SQUEAKY, bed frame out onto the front lawn with a FREE sign slapped on it. No children yelling, “Pervert!” any time we show any manner of physical affection. Some days it feels like enough to shut a woman down in THAT department.

The thing is, I’m married. To a guy. A normal, red-blooded guy. This has, over the years, posed some definite problems. Sometimes I just have to bend over to pick something up. It happens. Is it wrong to be put off by a butt-grab or a wolf-whistle? I’m just doing my job. I know I should be grateful he’s even interested. Have you seen me today?

And where do people find the time? Does it involve Dimetapp? After awhile it’s sort of hard to make yourself even care. But you know it kind of falls apart when you don’t.

We do have date nights here and there and that helps. On a good night it makes me feel like a teenager getting away with something. We’ve been terrible about actually going on any sort of trips by ourselves and I think it’s regrettable. The first post-kid trip we took was to Santa Barbara for Ruben’s wedding. I couldn’t have cared less whose wedding it was; I was far away from responsibilities and normal cares and concerns. It was FABULOUS. Even the ratty Super 8 with the saggy mattress and loud fluorescent lights was tolerable.

This was in 2000. Fast forward to April of 2009 and we spent a night at a bed and breakfast. In Olympia. Don’t get me wrong; it was really, really nice. And completely necessary. Just too short and too much space in between.

I hope that when my kids are grown with kids of their own that I remember this. That I insist on taking the babies occasionally so they can be ALONE. This constant togetherness, this “It’s FUN to be Family!”** 24/7 is libido crushing.

*A line they picked up from “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” which, by the way, was way less kid-friendly than the first Transformer movie.

**It IS fun to be family. Most of the time;).
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1 comment:

  1. You MUST get away again soon!!! David and I take a trip or two each year - it is absolutely invigorating and I don't have to care if the bed squeaks, or who may still be awake or who is going to be embarrassed by what they see! We had a fabulous weekend in Seattle and it will get me through him being gone for the next 3 weeks!

    My absolutely favorite place to go is the Boneville Resort ( It is an amazing getaway and soooo worth every cent! We are going to go there again in February for David's birthday.


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