Thursday, September 10, 2009

Will Work For Laughs

























[Attention Beloved Readers: I’ve been told that it’s either impossible or a pain in the rear to leave comments here. Anyone know why that would be? I ♥ comments left on my actual blog because they’re attached to what I’ve written and I can easily find them later. Thanks for all your comments; it makes me feel like maybe I’m not just talking to myself=).]

Lately I’ve been spending a lot of quality time with my two youngest. And not a day goes by that I don’t wonder why I don’t carry a voice recorder with me. Most of what they say is probably only funny to me but for this girl, it makes this job I do totally worthwhile.

I’m deep, deep into Fall Cleaning. Lots of things accomplished. Today I needed a box to pack up some hand-me-downs so the boys and I drove to the back of the 945 building, or as I call it, Box Heaven. It’s fantastic if you aren’t ashamed to pack your things in boxes from a gynecologist’s office. They can raise some eyebrows, for sure.

As we pulled into the parking lot, Josh became upset. Like Pavlov’s dog, his response to our arrival at his doctor’s office building was predictable: “Doctor no hurt me!”

I assured him I was just scrounging boxes but he wasn’t convinced. This was the conversation that followed:

Sam: “The doctor won’t hurt you! Mom, remember when we got shots and didn’t cry?”
Me: “Yes, the flu shot. It’s about time for another.”
Sam: hesitates . . . “That’s okay. I won’t cry.”
Me: “Should we just stop in now?”
Sam: “Oh no! I have a very busy day today.”
Me: “What do you have going on?"
Sam: “Well, I’m tired and I’d like to go to Burger King.”

And with that and a big empty box labeled “Vaginal Specula”, we were off.

Today while watching Dinosaur Train on PBS, Josh turned to me and said, “This program was made possible by contributions from viewers like you. Thank you.” Sounds like we’ve had too much of a good thing. I do like those PBS kids’ shows though. This morning we had on Sesame Street while I was conducting an assault mission on the dust bunnies that recently took up residence under the couches. Out of the blue I heard that Law and Order doink-doink sound—did Josh change the channel? No! It was a Sesame Street version of Special Victims Unit! Oh how I ♥ Sesame Street.

Today Josh came up with a new pastime. He brought a stool over to the drawer full of kitchen tools and held each one up, one at a time for me to name. Mostly he’d repeat after me and follow it with a “Yeth” (he lisps). Ocassionally he would say “No” and tell me what, in his opinion, it really was. Ice cream scoop, pastry cutter, microplane grater, ice cream scoop, bacon press, green bean slicer, potato masher, ice cream scoop, sushi roller, garlic press, candy thermometer, ice cream scoop, pizza cutter, can opener, cheese knife, ice cream scoop.

Me: “Can we be done yet?”
Josh: “No!”

When the drawer was empty he moved to greener pastures; another set of earbuds and a pair of scissors. This time he did a much more complete job, with pieces covering Sierra’s floor. Time to research ideas on either discipline or entertainment for 3 year olds.
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4 comments:

  1. Comments - To leave a message on your blog, you have to have another "account" to be able to post here so that it can "verify" you - ie - I use my Google account. Tiff - I think you can change your settings so that people don't have to be verified.

    P.S. It sounds like you need to do a scissor exorcism on your house!

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  2. Girl...you DO have a voice recorder on your handy, dandy iPhone. Check it out...

    I love your blog...it makes me laugh...you have such a way with words. You have a gift.

    So, I think I want my own "Vaginal Specula" box for my boy's outgrown clothes. haha. Great sex ed. tools. haha.

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  3. If we have so many ice cream scoops, why do you keep sending me to Dairy Queen? Get they to ye olde ice cream maker!

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  4. I love reading your blog. It makes my daily life seem so much more normal. It helps to know that I'm not the only one out there going through the usual housewifey things and my kids aren't as abnormal as I thought. Okay, so maybe they are. But, I tend to like them that way.

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So, what do you think?