Monday, August 10, 2009

Say What?

Does this look like a good idea to you? I didn’t think so. This is what they call playing, “Rocket Ship”.

Today I’m expecting the Sears Guy, “between 8 a.m. and noon”. Haven’t we all heard THAT one before? I wish there was some invention out there that would let the Sears Guy communicate with me. To let me know I am LAST on his list and might as well make that grocery store run. Hmmm.

My head stopped aching but I’m still feeling ick. Because GUESS WHAT? I fell off the wagon last Monday and that evil Sugar Monkey’s grip is sure. I’ve come to the conclusion that it can no longer be about THIS IS TOO TIGHT and DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT? Sugary food, processed food, they make me feel rotten. And short tempered. On the morning of my latest FAIL I was thinking to myself how good I felt. My brain felt like a fog was lifting and I felt more awake and happy than I had in a few months. I won’t bore you with the details (though why not? It’s not like you’re here for national news or anything) but I decided there was something I couldn’t pass up and it was downhill from there. So anyway, I can’t keep caring about the number on the scale. It’s got to be about my mental and physical health.

I sat down with Michael Jr. today to go over some things he needs to do to fulfill his Duty to God requirements before he turns fourteen next year. One requirement was to read the 12th Article of Faith and then discuss with us the structure and major functions of our national government. That’s easy says he. So he tells me about the Judicial Branch. And the Legislative Branch. And finally, the Erotic Branch. Yeah, you heard me. The EROTIC Branch.

“Um, do you mean “Executive”?”
“Oh yeah. What's ‘erotic’?

Do Not Ask Me THAT. Submarine claxton going off in my head.

Completely unwilling to field that one on my own, I went to the dictionary, looked it up, and passed it over to him. Eyes-wide as saucers he told me that wasn’t what he meant. Well yeah, I figured.

Guess who just called to tell me I was last on his list? And gave me his number in case I wanted to check in with him? That Sears Guy isn’t half bad.
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