Tuesday, July 7, 2009


“Did we forget the toilet paper?”
“Where is it then?”
“I don’t know . . .”
“We forgot the toilet paper.”

It was the reason we braved Costco on the 3rd of July. It seemed like everyone with a Costco card in the Tri-Cities and its outlying municipalities were there to stockpile provisions, disaster preparedness-style. Single-minded pursuit; every man for himself. I felt like a rank amateur. Who goes to Costco just for toilet paper? On a day like that, no one with good sense. And then we left with a cart full and NO TOILET PAPER.

Today after some time spent relaxing by the next-door-neighbor's pool, I returned for just toilet paper and actually bought it (as well as twin jugs of milk with dribble-cup spout, blueberries, and a pizza). I love Costco but sometimes I wonder if I’m really getting much of a deal. I know the quality is great but as far as stretching my dollar, I’m not convinced. And it’s the one place where I regularly shop, easily drop a hundred dollars (usually a lot more), and can leave with nothing for dinner. I always look at the boxes in the cart and wonder if I need to add it up again.

It’s a great place to shop when the samples are out because you probably won’t be hungry for dinner once you’re done anyway. We even have nights when the answer to “What’s for dinner?” is “Costco”. That means hot dogs/sausages or pizza and maybe a churro if you’re lucky. I like those nights and when you figure in Josh’s antics it can move quickly from an errand to dinner theater. Predictably that would be Josh’s domain but one night a few years ago the antics were all mine.

To this day I can’t think of Costco without thinking of The Pine-Sol Incident. A few years ago we made a big Costco run and Sam sat in the cart surrounded by boxes of over-sized packages. We wheeled our bounty out the door and into the street. The cart hit a bump and OH THE PAIN! I couldn’t see a thing. I jammed my fists into my eyes and fell to the ground, reeling in pain. What I didn’t know at the time was that the bump was enough to send a massive bottle of Pine-Sol crashing to the ground, bursting the cap and sending a stream of industrial-strength cleaning product straight for my eyes. A crowd gathered and lawsuit-minded staff rushed to sort me out. The next fifteen minutes Michael had me spend hovered over the Photo Center eye wash station was probably the longest of my life and gave me time to contemplate just how litigious I might actually be. As it turns out, not at all. Still, it would’ve been cool to get some free toilet paper for my troubles.
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1 comment:

  1. oh my gosh! i got a single drop of shower cleaner in my eye & thought i was going to die! i cannot imagine how painful that was for you!!!
    isn't it weird how everything has to fall right into place for such accidents to happen?!


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