Sunday, June 28, 2009

Epic Fail

I've had a number of people tell me they like to read my blog; that it's funny. If you're looking for funny tonight you might want to check out cakewrecks. blogspot.com or failblog.org.

I woke up this morning feeling almost as tired as I did when my head hit the pillow. Ellen and I stayed up laughing, crying, reminiscing, and expressing our gratitude for the circle of friends we were able to surround ourselves with in high school. Not everyone, not even most people, are so blessed as to have great friends at that age and to keep them.
After pancakes and a visit from a local raccoon, Michael and I headed north to Yelm. We arrived in time to thank Kent and Paul Girard for a special delivery of crabs they caught this morning. I love, love, love fresh crab. I alone occupy that territory here so I’ll be eating outside.

I’ve had a hard day. It wasn’t the insane amount of car time (after lunch we headed back to Richland) but a combination of several things. Part of it is my grasping desire to remain ignorant of some things that have just lately come to my attention. Things I assume no one meant for me to know. Things I do not want to know. The rest and maybe larger part of my sadness, was the result of coming back to our kids and instead of a loving reunion, we received arguments and disrespect.

This is something I’m embarrassed to share (and yet somehow feel compelled). We’re parents. It’s a huge part of how we define ourselves. And I’m failing at it. Somewhere along the way we didn’t instill in these kids the fundemental principle that we are to be respected and I don’t know how to come back from that. I spent the better part of the drive today hiding tears behind my sunglasses. I am gutted.

I recently read this quote from Elder M. Russell Ballard and it struck me as very, very sad that I didn’t have this tattooed across my forehead from the time my children were small:

“You do not have the right ever to be disrespectful to your mother or your father. Period. If you haven’t had that taught to you before, write it in your journal and in your minds and hearts right now. Write down that I said you do not have the right to be ugly, to raise your voice, to slam doors, to scream or holler within the walls of your own home.”

It seems so basic. A generation or two ago it was common sense in most homes. What’s happened to us? I think I could write about that for days.

Elder Ballard’s words are absolute truths. My children can behave contrary to those truths but it doesn’t change a thing. Prices will be paid for it. When we arrived home tonight we unloaded the van onto the lawn and I gave each child different items to bring into the house. When it was Sam’s turn he looked at me and screamed, “You aren’t the boss of me! I’m the boss of me!” It reminded me of that sign we see passing through Yakima: YAKIMA the Palm Springs of Washington. You can say that all you want; it doesn’t make it true.
Posted by Picasa

1 comment:

  1. WOW!! Tiffany thank you so much for writing this. I thought i taught my kids respect. They respect all adults outside our house, unless it's truly not deserved! But not in our house. I get the eye rolls, the short nasty words, heavy sighs or "My parents are lecturing me & i don't know why"
    Your words do seem so simple but so hard to instil.
    I can't tell you how many times I have felt that i have truly failed as a parent. Just the other day I thought "when did my kids think it was ok to argue with me. To fight what i am telling them & treat each other less than dog poo!!"
    So i pray to be a better parent, for wisdom to teach them.. I also tell myself that I just have to keep teaching them daily. They are human, they're not perfect & they have forces pulling at them all the time!!
    Then sometimes, i just go in my room & cry then start again. At least the boys i can talk to. My daughter is just so different i don't know what I am going to do!!
    Again Tiffany thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

So, what do you think?