Thursday, May 28, 2009

Sam's Birthday

Today is Sam’s birthday. Sam has been very excited about turning 5 and to celebrate he asked if I would make his class the cupcake recipe from the side of the ice cream cone box. It seemed easy enough: mix up batter, pour in cones. Can do.

What I didn’t figure in was transporting these things. I certainly couldn’t bring them on the cookie sheet I baked them on. I had to think. In a moment of sheer genius I thought of the bulk dried beans I had in the basement. I filled a container with beans and arranged the cones. I had to sort of squeeze them in because there really wasn’t enough room for all of them. Good enough.

As luck would have it, The Reptile Man was scheduled to do his thing at Oasis this morning. Cheap entertainment and a reason to get out of the house. When we arrived I pawned the little ones off on the oldest two so they could get a good view and I found my friend Nina in the back.

I did something today that, well, I just don’t do on weekdays. I wore a dress. It’s not me but I saw it awhile back and hoped it would fit when the weather warmed up. In preparation I’d used some self-tanner because my legs practically glow I’m so Caucasian. I really thought I’d properly exfoliated and all but when I glanced down at my legs while Nina and I talked, I recoiled in horror. I had Oompa Loompa knees! Why do I do these things? Never again. This time I’m serious.

When it was over, the boys and I came home to make Sam’s birthday cake. Red Velvet. Things were going pretty smoothly and I hadn’t yet had a nervous breakdown about the daily chores I was ignoring to pay extra attention to Sam. Sam and I decided to watch some kind of dinosaur documentary and after a few minutes I sensed something was wrong. It was just too peaceful. I got up to find Josh poking the cupcakes . Darn it! I refrosted a few (shh Becky!) and they looked okay. I used to complain about schools and teachers that don’t allow homemade treats but I sort of get it now.

On the way to school Josh played D.J. Josh likes music but he only seems to be able to like one song at a time. Like per week or something. Right now he’s fixated on “Pork and Beans” by Weezer and yells for it every time we get in the car. Every time it ends. He calls it “Happy Song” and it’s a good thing our car trips are pretty short; that song has been my anthem for way too long.

The whole beans-in-a-container-thing was not the greatest idea I’ve ever had. We arrived at school with them flopping all over each other and looking, well actually, pretty darned good as far as preschool tastes go. I just handed them to the teacher with my apologies and washed my hands of the mess. The End.
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  1. I remember my sister trying a self tanning lotion once when we were teenagers. Unfortunately she didn't read all the directions, especially the part where you're suppose to wash your hands afterward. She ended up with BRIGHT ORANGE hands for awhile.
    I remember when the Reptile Man came to Jason Lee a couple of years ago. The best part was when he told the kids to move back and to be really still and quiet because of the next snake he was about to pull out. He had prepped the kids by telling them how super fast and deadly the snake was and that they had to be quiet so they wouldn't spook the snake. Then he let loose a foam snake, like from a fake peanuts in the can gag, and had all the kids screaming as it came towards them. I could hear one kid say, "That's not funny. That's not funny." But it was priceless.

  2. LOL - I haven't used the self tanning lotion, but I do use an "activated" lotion when I go to the tanning beds. It basically does the same thing by enhancing the tan. I did really good at wiping off my hands before I got into the tanning bed...I just forgot to wipe in between my fingers! LOL My hands looked diseased for about a week!


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