Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Looks

Sometimes I put in the effort, sometimes I don’t. It’s easier to pull my hair back into a pony tail and forgo the make-up because, let’s be honest, my days consist of hauling kids around, playing, cleaning, laundry, yard work, and cooking. Taking the time to blow out all this hair and apply make-up just isn’t appealing.

I lost 30 pounds (okay, it’s like 20 now . . . ) over the past 6 months and during that time I got into the habit of actually doing something with my hair and wearing make-up. This coupled with the weight loss made for an interesting social experiment for me. I wasn’t invisible anymore. It was nice to feel like maybe, on some level, I still had “it”.

So looks. It’s easy to say they don’t matter when you’ve got them or maybe when you know you never will. Vanity is one of those things, like pride, that we’ve got to be ready to root out if we’re ever going to get real with ourselves. I wonder if the same holds true for the opposite problem? Being overly concerned about physical “flaws”. I guess at some point we all have something we wouldn’t mind changing.

In 5th grade someone called me “Beak” and suddenly I became aware that my nose was not “normal”. In no way Disney-esque. Before that I thought it was pretty cool because I could touch my tongue to it (I know, gross) just like my dad. As I paid more attention to it, the more horrible it grew in my eyes. I wanted a nose job for years but never had enough money (and obviously didn’t want it badly enough to make sure I did). I still think it’s not my ideal but after having a daughter, I just couldn’t go through with it. I mean it works just fine and I’ve come to a place in my life where altering my body in any way aside from diet and exercise doesn’t feel authentic. Just between you and me though, if I didn’t believe my body was a temple I want to keep unmarked, I would have my entire back covered with an elaborate Japanese dragon tattoo. It would go largely unnoticed aside from raised eyebrows at the public pool but yeah, that would be the body alteration for me.

2 comments:

  1. But where is it?? I have no idea how that picture wound up that way . . . seemed perfect for the topic though.

    ReplyDelete

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