Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Facts of Life

“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life . . .” In our house you need to substitute “gross” and “perverted” for “good” and “bad”; I have to admit my attempts to infuse any kind of beauty or goodness into THE TALK(s) have gone down in flames.

I always thought I would be so good at this part of parenting because I can talk about anything without batting an eye. I just don’t see what the big deal is. We didn’t talk about that sort of thing growing up and I vowed that my kids would know they could talk to me about anything. There wouldn’t be any embarrassment or impersonal literature hand-offs. But here we are and by golly there is embarrassment. It’s just not mine.

I’ve had THE TALK with the older ones over the past few years. Having a pregnant mom brings certain questions to the fore. I always start by asking if they really want to know—I can’t take it back once it’s out there. Of course they do. And then as I start from the beginning I see their eyes widen in disbelief turning quickly to abject horror—am I doing this wrong? Maybe it’s inevitable.

So now Sierra is beginning to wonder about puberty. Her friends at school are a little older and starting to deal with certain changes. A bit sheepishly she came to me and asked what it’s about. I was thrilled! It was my chance to finally get it right. I pulled out some paper and pencil and started drawing the female reproductive system. “Are those arms?” “Really?! That’s disgusting!” Nope, wrong again.

So despite my best efforts I’m no better at this than my mom or her mom before her. I guess no one really wants to talk about this stuff with their parents, do they?

3 comments:

  1. Some how I have been lucky with Daniel and Nathan. I've always been pretty open from the get go. And Ezri has always been pretty mature with that sort of thing and handles it pretty well. Ammon - now that's a different story. I don't think the boy will ever be comfortable talking to me OR his dad. But he does better with his dad. And about telling them when they want to know, my sister tells this story. A mom was driving in the car when her daughter asked her where she came from. So she geared up and was all prepared going into the details of 'where she came from'. Coming to the end of 'the talk', the mother noticed a strange look on her daughters face. Her daughter then replied, 'Ok. Cause my friend said she's from Cleveland.' (Edna)

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  2. ok the 'talk' well after 4 girls I sort of have that conversation covered...ha ha ha I think that in our house I have always been very open about this. There is always literature around the house as well since my degree is in health and phys ed. And we even have those talks at the diner table. Its amazing how easy it is to talk about sex with the kids and often I have other kids asking me questions. I subsituted one class and was amazed at how many questions that kids had, many of which parents should have filled their kids in because if they dont get educated at home they will get educated in the schools thats for sure.

    good for you for talking to the kids, pen and paper and all! :)

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So, what do you think?